Come See What’s On the Slab

Praise to the Freaky Gods! Rocky Horror came (literally) to South St, thanks to the WXPN Music Film Festival. Lucky for me, Justintime is my hook up for the event!

I dressed up in a lab coat for the lab scene, clearly the most overlooked scene which provides the cheapest costume options, other than Columbia’s PJ’s and mouse ears. Justintime and the BF chose Gay Brad.

Shown at the TLA (Theater of the Living Arts) on South St, the second theater, ever, to do midnight screenings of RHPS. As with all great midnight movies, there was a shadowcast performance by Transylvanian Nipple Productions.

Must Do’s of RHPS:

Props

Here is a basic list of props and instructions for their use in participation to RHPS. This list may vary according to theater policy or local customs.


• Rice: At the beginning of the film is the wedding of Ralph Hapschatt and Betty Munroe. As the newlyweds exit the church, you should throw the rice along with the on-screen wedding guests.


• Newspapers: When Brad and Janet are caught in the storm, Janet covers her head with a newspaper The “Plain Dealer”. At this point, you should likewise cover your head.


• Water pistols: These are used by members of the audience to simulate the rainstorm that Brad and Janet are caught in. (Now do you see why you should use the newspapers?)


• Candles, flashlights: During the “There’s a light” verse of “Over at the Frankenstein Place, “you should light up the theater with candles, flashlights, lighters, etc. (Be careful to respect the theater’s policy about open flames – remember you are wearing newspapers on your head!)


• Rubber gloves: During and after the creation speech, Frank snaps his rubber gloves three times. Later, Magenta pulls these gloves off his hands. You should snap your gloves in sync each time to create a fantastic sound effect.


• Noisemakers: At the end of the creation speech, the Transylvanians respond with applause and noisemakers. You should do the same.


• Confetti: At the end of the “Charles Atlas Song” reprise, the Transylvanians throw confetti as Rocky and Frank head toward the bedroom. You should do the same.


• Toilet paper: When Dr. Scott enters the lab, Brad cries out “Great Scott!” At this point, you should hurl rolls of toilet paper into the air (preferably Scotts).


• Toast: When Frank proposes a toast at dinner, members of the audience throw toast into the air (preferably unbuttered… things could get sticky).


• Party hat: At the dinner table, when Frank puts on a party hat, you should do the same.


• Bell: During the song “Planet Schmanet Janet,” ring the bell when Frank sings “Did you hear a bell ring?”


• Cards: During the song “I’m Going Home,” Frank sings “Cards for sorrow, cards for pain”. At this point you should shower the theater with cards.


• Hot dogs and prunes: It has happened on occasion, that fans will throw hot dogs and prunes at their appropriate mention in the film. This should not be encouraged because it attracts rodents and leaves stains on the screen.

Artwork by Phil Dejean

Website: Here

Call Backs

THE funnest part of the show, IMO.

You can sing along:

Usherette (lips)   Michael Rennie was ill
                The Day the Earth Stood Still
                But he told us where we stand.
                { "On our feet" while standing
                 or "On our seats" while standing on seats }
                And Flash Gordon was there
                In silver
                { echo "cum stained" or echo "crotchless"
                 or echo "Janet's edible" }
                underwear, { "It was gold!" or "Pervert !"}
                Claude Rains was the Invisible Man.
                { "outa sight!" or "I saw him"
                 or "How do you know?" "I fucked him"
                 or "Who's Claude Rains?"
                 or "But he never showed up!" }
                Then something went wrong
                For Fay Wray and { echo "fucked" }
                King { echo "fucking" } Kong;
                { "She went Ape-Shit!" }
                They got caught in a celluloid
                { echo "sexual" or echo "Shumaker's sexual" }
                jam. { "69" or "Yeah jam!" or "My facourite kind!" }
                { echo "She got fucked by a 40 ft ape" }
                Then at a deadly pace
                It came from... { echo "I came on" } { "Where ?" }
                Outer Space. { echo "Janet's face" } { "Thank you" }
                And this is how the message ran:
                { "Freeze!" run with 'Message' card }
                ( Attempt cleaning the teeth with the BROOM )

        Chorus  Science fiction, double feature
                { scratch the S in SHOW so it will bleed on the titles }
                Doctor X { "Sex Sex Sex Sex" } will build a creature.
                   { "Bill Clinton" }
                See androids fighting { echo "fucking" }
                { "and fucking and sucking on" }
                Brad and Janet
                Anne Francis stars in { "Deep Throat and" }
                { "Debbie does Dallas and..."
                 or "The sequel to" }
                Forbidden Planet
                Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh { echo "Janet's a ho-o-o-o" }
                At the late night, { "Anal Friction" }
                { "What kind of feature?" }
                double feature, { echo "Fuck your teacher" }
                { "Rocky Horror" }
                { "What kind of show?" or "Where's the other show?" }
                picture show. { echo "pick your nose" }

                { "Sing!" }
                { "Do you know any child molesters?" }
Usherette (lips)   I knew Leo G. Carrol { "Close enough" }
                Was over { echo "fucking" } a barrel { echo "a sparrow" }
                { "He'll fuck anything!" }
                When Tarantula took to the hills { echo "LSD" }.
                { "Lick it, Bitch!" }
                And I really got hot
                When I saw Jeanette Scott { echo "Janet's twat" }
                Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
                { echo "Fight a penis that spits semen and kills"
                 or "What's the fuck's a Triffid ?"
                 or "Janet's twat swallowed Philadelphia!"
                 or "Yay kills!" }
                Dana Andrews said Prunes { "With pits" } { throw PRUNES }
                Gave him the runes { echo "the shits" }
                And passing them used lots of skills
                { "Yay skills!" or "Sexual skills" or echo "Ex-Lax pills" }
                But When Worlds Collide, { clap hands, "BOOM!" }
                Said George Powell to his bride,
                "I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"
                { echo "sexual thrills"
                 or echo "birth control pills"
                 or echo "fucks and some thrills"
                 or echo "joints and some pills" }
                Like a...
                { "Sex-ray" or "X-ray" or "Like what?" }

        Chorus  Science fiction, double feature
                Doctor X { "Sex Sex Sex Sex" } will build a creature.
                See androids fighting { "and fucking and sucking on" }
                Brad and Janet { "Brian Thompson" (his name is on the
                   screen at the time) }
                Anne Francis stars in
                { "Deep Throat, Debbie Does Dallas and..."
                 or "Deep Throat the sequel to" }
                Forbidden Planet
                Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
                At the late night, double feature,
                { echo "Fuck your teacher" }
                { "Rocky Horror" }
                picture show.

                I wanna go { "I want to cum" or "Go where?" }
                Oh Oh Oh
                To the late night, double feature, { "Rocky Horror" }
                picture show.
                { "Who's it by?" }
                By RKO, { "Really Kinky Orgasms" or "RK who?" }
                Oh Oh Oh
                To the late night, double feature { "Rocky Horror" }
                picture show.
                { "Where's the best place to fuck?!" }
                In the back row,
                {  front row: "Fuck the back row!"
                   back row:  "Fuck the front row"
                   front & back: "Fuck ALL the rows!"
                  or
                   front:  "Fuck the back row!" while flipping them off
                   middle: "I've SEEN'em YOU fuck'em"
                   center: "Fuck you both,I'm in the crummy center"
                  or
                   front: "Fuck the back row"
                   back:  "Fuck the front row"
                   front: "We fucked you first!"
                   back:  "We fucked you second!"
                   front: "We gave you head!"
                   back:  "You swallowed!"
                  or (repeat the first 2 lines)
                   front:  "We fucked you first!"
                   back:  "We fucked you last!"
                   front: "We fucked you up the ass!"
                   back:  "We fucked you in the eye and you saw us cuming!"
                   front: "We fucked you in the ear and you heard us cuming!"
                   back:  "We fucked you in the head and nothing changed!"
                  or (repeat the first 2 lines)
                   front: "Back row sucks!"
                   back:  "Front row swallows!"
                   front & back: "And the middle let it dribble
                                  down their chin"
                   all: "Goodbye lips, goodbye...Never trust a smiling cross.."
                  or (repeat the first 2 lines)
                   front: "We fucked you first!"
                   back:  "We fucked you BETTER!"
                   front: "We faked the orgasm!"
                   back:  "We got it on videotape!"
                  or
                   "Fuck the back row" "Fuck the front row, it's cheaper!"
                   "Fuck the second row, it's free!"
                   "Fuck the third row, they pay you!"
                  or
                   "Fuck the back row!" "You fuck the back row!"
                   "We'll all fuck the back row!"
                   "Gang bang the back row!!"
                  or "Yay back row!"
                }
                Oh Oh Oh
                To the late night, double feature, { echo "Fuck your teacher" }
                picture show.
                { "Bye lips" }

                (lips fade into a picture of a cross)
                { "Never trust a smiling cross"
                 or "These lips died for your sins!" }
                { "Crucify! Crucify! Crucify!..." }

                { "What time is it ? It's 4 minutes to 12.
                   It's ALWAYS 4 minutes t 12!" }
                { Push the steeple of the church up, "Ring the bell!"
                  "Knock on the door!" }
                { "What a great movie, even the church gets it up" }
                { "Hey, what time is it ? ... Oh shit, I'm late"
                  "Better late than pregnant"
                  "Oh shit, they're pushing religion on us!" }

And of course, the cast of characters that will ALWAYS be there!

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